What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Is Matt Gaetz qualified to be Attorney General of the United States?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Where can I get sure fixed matches on Instagram?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Do you wear tights for warmth or to make your legs look better?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Make Nazis afraid again!

What is it like to be the slave in a mistress-slave relationship?

TEXT:

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Molestiae omnis voluptatem sed assumenda et.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.